Vision Board, Dream Board, Reminder Board, Action Board and etc..

I have attended a Vision Board party earlier this month. Vision board is a collection of motivational sayings, photos and cut-outs from magazines that probably reflects our dreams and wishes. I was told that I should hang my vision board in my room and look at it everyday. That way my dreams will come true.  I am a believer that dreams will come true through hard work and we can't merely depend on luck or chance. While I am a very practical person, I understand the rational of a vision board from the host's perspective.

Creating and looking at the vision board regularly can help maintain the goal in our subconscious. It reminded me of a friend from primary school who achieved first place in school in a major examination. I recalled her telling me that her mother had pasted newspaper cuttings of students who have achieved full As. The newspaper cuttings kept her focused on the goal and  reminded her to put in the hard work and strived for full As.

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” – Leonardo da Vinci

I have read in many articles that when goals or intentions are declared openly and aloud to others, the action will satisfy our self-identity just enough that our motivation to achieve the goals dramatically decreases over time. After declaring intentions on the Vision Board,  dreaming alone will not turn our dreams into reality. I recognized the behavior as I am guilty of doing just that. I shared my intention to practice yoga 3 times week and included this plan in my resolution. I have almost never practice yoga more than once a week. 

Regardless, creating a vision board is a good excuse to connect with my feminine side. We,girlfriends,  gathered at a friend's place. The party commenced with laughter, food and beverage of choice.  Once the host has accomplished her first mission that was to feed us, we gathered in the living room to peruse magazines and be inspired by our discoveries. There was a moment of peace where the only sound was flipping pages and tearing out pages. Then came the second phase of sieving through our findings and arranging them on our boards before the final stage of sticking the cut-outs to create our masterpieces.

My board represents a reflection of my thoughts while I was going through the process of building my vision board. I was not dreaming about acquiring material objects. I will confess that I was considering to include a picture of an Audi however, it was not at my disposal that evening. I suppose it was not meant to be in this vision board after all.

I tuned inwards as I was building out my vision board. I wanted to be inspired, be less self-critical, have a little self-affirmation, self confidence, self respect and to nurture my body, mind and soul.  I am happy with the end product.  I can guarantee that I will not heed the advice of avid vision board fans about looking at my vision board on a daily basis.  My vision board had help me frame my thoughts and will serve as a reminder and a boast to keep me focus and continue to learn and grow.

Flat Tire Equals Note To Self To Slow Down

It is rare for me to remember my dream. I did just that a few days ago. I don't know where I was in my dream but I remembered vividly that I walked to my car and noticed that two tires were a little flat. I inspected my tires and believed that I can proceed to drive home. My plan was to get my roommate to help me out with the flat tire situation. I got into my car and immediately after I drove out the parking spot, the front tire completely punctured.  I awakened from my dream.

I pulled out my iPAD to search for the interpretation of tires in dreams. Here are some interpretations from the web: 

"To see or dream that you have a flat tire indicates that you are feeling emotionally drained and weary. Your goals are temporarily hindered and as a result, you are unable to progress any further. "

"Almost without exception the tires are defective in some way and thus prevent the vehicle from moving or only allow it to move very slowly. This is an analogy for you not making the progress you desire within the waking world.If the tire is flat in the dream but otherwise appears undamaged it may be possible to pump it back up. Which means that wherever your progress has been stalled in the real world that with a little help you may be able to get on the road again. On the other hand if the tire is punctured it means that the situation is going to be more difficult to correct. The number of tires that are damaged can be relevant. The more tires that are involved the more difficult it will be to make changes in real life."

"To dream of having a flat tire (whether on a car or bicycle) foretells problems caused by hidden jealousy. Try being tactful for a while and controlling your feelings. If you dreamed of changing a flat tire, this is a warning to conserve your resources against an unexpected need."

I take it that my dream is telling me to slow down and be patience. My boss left the company recently who is smart, brilliant and energetic. He is the kind of leader who gives energy instead of draining energy from others. With his departure, my career aspiration will have to wait. Now, I first have to invest time in getting to know my new superior and adjust to the changes in my work environment. I know I am not alone in this endeavor and will not fret about it.

According Louis Pasteur, in the fields of observation, chance favors only the prepared mind. My work will be running auto-pilot while I will take this opportunity to reflect and collect my thoughts. I will immerse myself in learning about a new product offered by my company and perhaps learn something about Big Data. For the time being, I want to be like a sponge where I selectively absorb goodness and avoid ruminating on bad thoughts.  I want to come out strong and prepared for whatever that comes my way in 2014.

No need sugar for my tea anymore!

People said that sugar is bad. I used to drink approximately six cups of caffeinated tea with 2 sachets of sugar per day. And I did that for many years until I was advised by my OGBYN to cut down on caffeine after  she found cyst on my breasts. I just can't do without caffeinated drink cold turkey. My first cup of the day remained caffeinated while I opted for herbal tea for the rest of the day. Amazingly the cyst went away in two months or so. The by product when I cut back on my caffeinated beverage, I also cut back on my sugar intake. 

I kept up with one cup of caffeinated drink per day for about 2 years. I was reminded again that sugar is bad for me.  The truth is I was motivated to cut back on sugar because of my  expanding waistline and my pants are getting tight. I may have a slim built, it felt awful all the same when clothes did not fit well.  I reduced to one sachet of sugar with my tea. I had tried to eliminate sugar completely. It did not go well with my taste bud.  

I found the solution to cut down my sugar intake for tea completely.  I used to dip the tea sachet for 5 times in hot water then disposed the tea bag. Tea tastes different when it is seeped for a few seconds over the recommended 3.5 minutes. In fact tea tastes better after it is seeped for 3.5 minutes and sugar is dispensable. Now, I love my decaffeinated Earl Grey tea and sugar free.

Scoliosis .... thanks for being a huge part of my life

On the onset, I want to clarify that I probably have a very mild case of Scoliosis. A normal person will have a S shape curve while I have a zigzag shape or abnormal lateral curvature on my spine.  I have been exhibiting symptoms of Scoliosis since I was a child but Scoliosis was masqueraded as poor posture, vanity and uneven leg lengths.

I have started to experience pain in my right knee about two months ago. I cannot do lunges so no warrior pose, I cannot put weight on my right knee cap so no camel pose. It was timeout from yoga and I have not returned to yoga class since then. My GP had advised to rest and to apply ice to reduce the internal swelling on my knee. After three weeks, the pain went away but my bones have the tendency to make cracking sounds and loudly too. I figured I needed to consult a good doctor with background in sports medicine. The doctor has diagnosed me with Scoliosis. I was advised to strengthened my inner thigh muscle of my right leg and to wear orthotics insole for my right foot since one leg is 1/4 inches shorter than the other.

I went to my podiatrist this afternoon to request for a new pair of orthotics insoles with the right side  1/4 inches higher. My last pair was custom made 8 years ago and it is time to get a new pair. When I was lying down on my back, my right leg is shorter. When I sit upright, my left leg is shorter. Doc does not think that it is a good idea to add the extra height to the right insole. My leg lengths is highly dependent on my posture. Scoliosis, you complicate things!

After the human gait analysis, Doc observed that my calves are very tense and suggested stretching them daily. ( Sigh! Besides stretching my arms in the morning, I need to stretch my calves too. I suspect it will take longer to get ready in the morning as I age. Friends, don't bother to plan meet ups in the morning during my golden years) He gave me a small piece of plastic insole to add height to my existing insoles to evaluate if the additional elevation is even necessary. I will check in with him in a week or so.

As a child, I was told to stand properly because I appeared to be standing with one shoulder higher than the other. My friends thought that I was being silly. Also, it didn't help that  I was very skinny then and my collar bones stuck out like a cloth hanger with a cloth peg on each side. My skinny structure just made the uneven shoulders more apparent to observers. It did not bother me at all as I just went on with my life.  Scoliosis aka uneven shoulders was like an imaginary friend that others noticed from time to time.

I was told by my mum and her apprentices that cutting my hair can be quite a challenge.  The comments were always the same—"it is difficult to give you a symmetrical line for your bangs or hair length".  Alas, they all caved in despite well intention to give me a nice haircut. It was not because I fidget while getting my haircut. Finally, the truth has surfaced. Scoliosis, you are the cause of the optical illusions suffered by many hairdressers that cut my hair and you deprived me from getting symmetrical bangs!

I have a light bulb moment. I finally realized after all these year why there is always a noticeable asymmetry at the waist line. I can never get skirts or pants to sit straight or should I say aligned with my waistline.  The issue wasn't with the skirts nor the pants but Scoliosis. Sigh....

Alright, enough whining from me. I will learn to live in harmony with Scoliosis.  

Baseball fever 2013

Who would have known that I would be hooked on baseball? For the longest time, I thought it was the most boring sports ever. I have been to a minor league game and a major league game a few years ago. Both times I was invited to the game. I found the sideline activities more interesting than the game itself.

I watched World Series 2012 when Giants won the championship.  I tuned in because people around me are doing so.  Since San Francisco is the home of the Giants, I cheered for the team too in the comfort of my living room. Shortly after Giants won the World Series, the trophy went around town and made a short stop at my work place. It was a lively event where my fellow co-workers donned their Giants jerseys and queued to take picture with the trophy. I did not join the club then.

A couple of weeks back, I watched a live Giants game on television and took the time to understand the MLB rules. I got some of the basics down— 9 innings in one game, 3 outs ends 1/2 inning and as I understand more rules, I started to appreciate the game more and I started to watch more games. It was not until recently that I came to realize that there are a lot of baseball fans around me.   I turned to my fellow co-workers to deepen my understanding of this sport — RBI, foul ball, fair ball and balk. I am fortunate to have many living wikipedia about baseball around me. It sure makes it a very conducive environment to learn about the game. I am hooked.

Since I have acquired sufficient knowledge to appreciate the games,  I started to google or wikipedia the baseball players. I find it very special that each player has a moniker e.g. Tim Lincecum is "The freak", Pablo Sandoval is "panda", Marco Scutaro is "Blockbuster" and Hunter Pence is "The Reverend".  As I read through the players stats, it reminded me that age is catching up on me. Age may be just a number, it is still sad that these players are younger than me. That is not going to change anytime soon so I will get over it.

Perhaps I like baseball because it is a low contact sports. I find baseball a very gentleman game. There is hardly any shouting match between the umpires and players. There is literally no tackling in baseball. Everyone behaves. The players do not show much emotion during the game. The pitchers are probably the most even keel people in the game and they demonstrated strength and resilience in the way they conduct themselves. One thing, I cannot comprehend is the spitting. Why are players spitting all the time? It seems to be deeply rooted in the baseball culture.  This does not make sense but it is happening in every game.

I watched a live Giants game at AT&T ballpark with my boyfriend to celebrate my anniversary. I cheered and joined in the fun. It's a family event and a sport for everyone. I enjoyed myself immensely. This time, I focused on the game more than activities happening on the sideline. It is as though the light bulb just turned on after so many years before I learn how to appreciate the game. But I am glad I did and I am hooked.

I am taking a hiatus from a self-absorbed friend

I have a friend who is going through some challenging times and she is late on her car loan payment again. Since my contact was given to the car leasing company, I have gotten calls to ask for her to call back when she is late on dues.  

The first time, I received a call from the leasing company, I called her and left her a voice mail. She did not bother to call back. I also learnt that  the most effective way to get in touch with her is via Facebook.  There were several other calls and I was asked by this friend to ignore the calls or block the caller. Last week, I got a voice call from the leasing company requesting my friend to call back and based on my missed calls, the caller ID indicated that the number is blocked.  I left her a note on FB. While I know she has read my message, she did not respond to me. I wrote her another note where I expressed my frustration of her non action and below is her response:

"you have every reason to be mad at me. I haven't been a good friend at all. Sorry to implicate you in this but I thought I can handle anything that comes my way but I was wrong. I am back log in most payments again. it's the car financial ppl that's been bothering you.. Since I will always be late till I clear it off this year, it's the last year and they do not listen to my plea to not call you or any of our friends, you might need to either ignore or block their calls.. Sorry it's the only way I can think of and even that I still can't help and you have to do it yourself . What luck to have a friend like me huh?"

I have no intention of responding to her FB message. I am not mad at her but disappointed at how she can be so irresponsible and ignorant at the same time.

She had offered the suggestion to block the car leasing company's number, I can block the main line which I have already done. What about calls from the direct lines within this company ? I work for a global company, I cannot ignore all the phone numbers coming from the same area code as the leasing company. Also sometimes international calls come in as block numbers, I can't ignore that either. Sigh.... ignorance is not bliss in such matters.

Since she moved to San Diego several years ago, I tried calling her from time to time. I left her voice mails and she never called back. I stopped calling her altogether. The last time I spoke to her was when she needed my contact as a reference to lease a car and that was at least 3 years ago.

I am disappointed that she did not take the time to keep in touch. A common friend, E of hers and mine has decided to ignore her altogether. There is a lot of things to do before migrating to a new country and there is no explanation in the world that can absolve this friend for not telling E about her decision to move. 

She is my friend since we were in primary school and we sat next to each other in secondary school. I have seen first hand how her dad's demise have changed her life at a tender age of 17 years old. Her then boyfriend lived across from my first boyfriend. She was pregnant out of wedlock intentionally because she wanted a baby.  It is a taboo to have a baby before marriage in asia. She went against the social norm where typically a woman should marry up and she took the reverse route. I suspect she is struggling to make ends meet now.  We , her friends, respect her chosen life and none of us think less of her.  This friend has forgotten that we can be her best support system to get her through tough times.  Hopefully, she will come around soon. For now, I am taking a hiatus from her.

They actually uphold a little bit of the chinese wedding tradition.

My sister planned for two wedding ceremonies. The first was for the groom's family and the next ceremony was for the bride's family and the new couples' friends and colleagues.  Since the second ceremony involved the bride's family, I helped out a little bit.  The fact that the new couple simplified their wedding,  I wasn't sure what's in and what's out in terms of wedding traditions. Also, my parents have been very accommodating to the new couples wishes.  Basically, I played by ear and just went along with whatever I was told.

My mother's youngest sister a.k.a my 8th aunt, she came a day earlier. I know that's a lot for any average family. My maternal grandmother has 13 children, over 50 grandchildren and perhaps 5 and growing number of great grandchildren. I am glad to have the opportunity to spend time with my aunt.She is well-versed in wedding traditions for different Chinese dialect groups and is available for wedding engagement to uphold chinese traditions. Without her presence, I highly doubt that any Hokkien wedding tradition will be observed during my sister's wedding. Thank you to you, my dear aunt!

Normally, this is a loud and merry event and typically, the groom and his entourage will go over to the bride's home to pick up the bride. Before he can see his bride, he has to negotiate with the bridesmaids: $$$ in the red packet ,play some games, sing a song, declare his love aloud to the bride and etc.  In my sister's wedding, the groom came solo. In lieu of negotiation, the new couple took photograph with friends and relatives.

According to Hokkien tradition, it is inauspicious for the bride's family if the new couple leave the house before 10am in the morning. Therefore we delayed the commencement of the tea ceremony where the couple offered tea to the elderly: my parents, aunts and uncles for my father's side only. Tea was not served to relatives from my mother's side because my grandmother wasn't presence and it is not appropriate to proceed without her.

Later, the couple has to bow first to god(sky) then to our ancestors before proceeding to bow to my parents. It is disrespectful and may anger god or ancestors if the sequence is not followed.
Luckily, my aunt was there to guide the new couple throughout the ceremony at my parent's place.

We took group photographs before the couple was allowed to leave the premise and it was after 10am. My sister brought along with her a fan, upon getting into the car, she disposed the fan. In turn, my mother handed her a new fan. This is uniquely a Hokkien tradition. I understand from my aunt that this action signifies that the bride gets rid of any bad habits and start fresh. Also, it is consider bad luck/clash to see other weddings. She can use the fan to shield from viewing of other people's wedding.

While these tradition may not have any significance to the new couple, I am glad they went along with it. We joined the couple at their wedding reception for a 8-course luncheon. My favorite part was the slideshow about the new couple.