Adios, Farewell And Good Bye To My Thirties

I will bid farewell to my thirties and usher in my 40th birthday this month. When I looked back, in the grand scheme of things, I have a spectacular thirties. Whether it was about career or about love or about self respect  or about health, I have a good run in my thirties. I have definitely learn to appreciate myself more, become less critical about myself and focus less on how people think about me.

I have battle scares that cut me really deep and hurt me really bad.  After my ex-french boyfriend left me for London/Paris, I was depressed and I just couldn't bring myself to eat for the first few days. When I watched Sex and The City, the movie, a few years later, I had an aha moment when Carrie was in the rut after Mr Big had jilted her. So that's what happens when someone has fallen out of love. While it will never get easier, at least I am emotionally prepared to handle myself appropriately.

I had experienced working with a version of boss from hell in my thirties. Thank god it was short lived when a senior leader intervened.  I chalked it up to style difference and the fact that we were not able to build a trust partnership.  It took me awhile before I realized that I was suffering from psychologically issues.  Instead of being temperamental prior to my menstrual period, I cried a lot. Sometimes I cried while driving to and from work and sometimes I just sat at my desk and cried.  I had lower abdominal pain and later found out that I had ovarian cyst/bubble. The moment that I was told that I no longer report to the boss from hell, my symptoms went away almost instantaneously. Vulnerability is gut wrenching piece of work! The two important takeaway from this experience were—what are some of the qualities of a boss from hell that I should never replicate and how stress can impact a human's well being. I should have taken action earlier. I know better now.

I respect individuals choice in sexual orientation and religious belief. When introduced to a gay person, it was normal for me. I have never been introduced to a homosexual couple until my mid thirties. I faux pas during the first introduction to a gay couple. I was dumbstruck immediately after the handshake. I don't know how to react then.  I was embarrassed for my behavior. Good news is I have gotten better at it.

Fitness has became an integral part of my lifestyle. When I was little, my monikers were "pencil" and  "chopstick" for I looked like a bamboo pole with long slim arms and a virtually non-existence derriere. I look so much better now. Yoga, rock climbing and running have sculpted my body. I have nice definition on my arms and I must say a pretty nice ass. Combine with the fact that I am more self-assured and confident, I carry myself far better than I did when I was younger. I like the mature me.

I am a late bloomer in the make up department. I can't fight it anymore as make up has creeped into my morning repertoire. It started out with perfume then lip gloss and now eye liner and bronzer or blusher. Today, I would not leave home without first putting on some eye liner and perfume. Without a doubt, I will add more along the way and contribute more to the beauty economy.

Whether it is managing the side effects of menopause, chemotherapy for breast cancer, having to succumbed to ovarian cancer,recovering after a lung transplant or caring for an autistic child, I saw the strength and resiliency in friends and friends of friends dealing with health issues of their own or caring for their love ones.  I salute them for their courage and perseverance in dealing with trials and tribulation of life. Their stories are reminders for me to take good care of my health. Even more now that I am hitting 40.

At this age and time, I would be remiss if I fail to mention social media. Facebook has enabled me to reconnect with my friends from primary, secondary and tertiary education. While I may not be close in proximity to my friends, I get a glimpse of their life from Facebook. It's a really special privilege though sometimes I take it for granted. It is really nice that I can compare notes about wellness and normalize the symptoms of aging with former classmates.This year I get to congratulate a lot of people on their 40th birthday on Facebook and age gracefully with them.

I have a long distance relationship with a very wonderful man. We have been seeing each other for a few years now. While the current arrangement works for us — spending time together at least 4 times a year and video conference calls on weekends.  I look forward to the time when we will take the next steps to live together.  Until then, we have a common goal to grow old together. We talked about lazy Sundays, reading newspapers and listening to classical music in the sunroom. I know it is in the horizon and plan to see through this goal of ours in my 40s and hopefully early 40s.

I learn to work with the reality of who I am and what's best for me. I learn to manage my energy over managing my time. I will bow out gracefully from my thirties and leap into my forties with great stride and self confidence. 

Mismatch socks à la mode

It is necessary to wear matching socks ? It seems to me that the rules have changed or times has changed. My french teacher's oldest daughter, a teenager, wears mismatch socks. She smiled and indulged me by sharing that she goes to school with mismatch socks too. It's her modus operandi. 

Her mum chimed in that she does not match up her clean socks and it is easier to settle with wearing mismatch socks.

When I was in Amsterdam, my boyfriend's teenage daughter also wore mismatch socks. When I observed two teenagers from different continents doing the same thing, I suppose this is the trend these days.  Recently, my french teacher's youngest daughter joined her sister.  Here's a picture of her creative match.

 

 Whether the motivation is to simplify the need to organize the socks drawer, to spark creativity or to draw attention, this is a new form of self-expression. I find it fun, inspiring and creative. If I were to do that when I was in missionary school, I would be sent to the principle's office. Oh... what a missed opportunity for self-expression during my youth.