Christmas Tree Topper

This is my third Christmas spent in Amsterdam with one of my favorite persons in the world. For someone in a long distance relationship, I cherish the time I am with my boyfriend. It is especially special when we get to be together in the same place to close the year out and welcome the new year with hopeful anticipations for a better year than before. Every year, my boyfriend embellishes his home with a Christmas tree to usher in the holiday seasons. 

Over the years, my boyfriend has made significant stride with the Christmas tree. He started with a hand-me-down fake Christmas tree, ornamental garland with red and silver colored tinsel and multi colored Christmas bauble in different sizes and to top it off a red finial to adorn the tree top. Yes, it was a hand-me-down, Nothing matches in my opinion. The red garland, the thin strips of material was too long thus it looked out of place resting on the fake tree.The silver garland was too iridescent, it did not mimic the effect of ice as it was supposed to do. In fact, the garlands overwhelmed the entire tree. The baubles took the backseat on this tree.  Also, I could not comprehend why one would top a tree with such an ugly looking tree topper. 

The cone shaped topper is called Christmas finial. According to my love, the tree is representative of Christmas and there is nothing wrong with the finial. While his son was playing near the tree, he accidentally smashed into the tree, it toppled and broke the red finial. That's the demise of the red finial.

I had proposed to get a real Christmas tree the following year. Respectfully, my love pledged his  support for the environment by not purchasing a real tree. Really? Seriously? I didn't know the environmentally conscious side of him.  That was a first. A bystander overheard our conversation and supported my proposal. He was not swayed at all. Fast forward a few months, his daughter suggested getting a real tree. And he conceded just like that. My pleading , begging and rationalizing was inconsequential. It was observed that my suggestions must be supported by others before he takes mine into consideration. Occasionally, I give him a hard time about getting a real tree and more. That's how a real Christmas tree is introduced to his household.

Since then,it is a tradition for us to get a real Christmas tree and to decorate it together.  We were not looking for a perfect symmetrical tree. We picked the first that looks decent. Our Christmas tree decoration is simple and elegant. We reused the lights that came with the hand-me-down tree. We adorned the tree with white and silver beads. Then we added white and silver baubles and some leftover ornaments which must be approved by moi. Christmas finial is commonly found throughout Europe. I wanted to get a star or an angel while the store sold finial only. We purchased a silver finial to replace the red broken one. I also bought an angel ornament that day. The silver finial is still in the box. In lieu of a proper Christmas tree topper, we are using the angel ornament as a stand in until I find the perfect topper.

Whether It is an artificial or a real tree, it is a symbolism of Christmas. A real tree is obviously a preferred way to go at least for me. I am grateful to celebrate the festive season with him and his family. I look forward to do the same many years to come. Perhaps one year I would warm up to a Christmas finial until the it is safely kept in the box.

A 30-Second Bad Cop

A dear friend of mine had told her daughter to behave herself otherwise my boyfriend would be angry.  That's a typical Malaysian and Singaporean response when a child misbehaves in public. An individual will be picked out from the crowd sometimes at random and in this case my boyfriend whom she just met.

My friend could have picked me as the prosecutor of mischief which would be completely fine with me as this is the mode operandi when I was little. From the perspective of a newly minted mischief police aka my boyfriend, he felt that he just drew the short end of the stick. He was quick to absolve himself from being the bad cop to the child. And it was comical to see him put up both hands and shook his head and hands to show his disapproval. On a positive note, he has been introduced to some of the asian ways. I am sure there will be more to come.

Sometimes cops are picked out to scare kids into behaving in public. Supposedly, a child is throwing a tantrum, the parent may frighten the child by telling him or her that the cop would apprehend the child who misbehave. That does not put a good light on cops. It is important for the child to know that cops are there to protect and instill safety. If a child is in danger, he or she must feel safe going to a police for help. Certainly, this method of discipline of ours have some flaw.

Other times, the meanest, ugliest and beastly looking person is targeted for role to scare the child to conform. In Asia unfortunately, dark complexion south Indian men are naturally picked out to scare a child into obedience. Indirectly and while it is harmless from the appearance, we have been discriminating individuals with dark complexion since we are little. People are being judged more by their appearance and unfortunately, perception is often times the reality in the perceivers' eyes.

I know my sister does the same and same goes to a lot of my friends and relatives. We learn from osmosis as we observe our parents and people around us leveraging the same scare tactics. To change, it will take a lot of awareness and commitment before we change this method of discipline. 

Honey, you have my empathy. While I can't guarantee that you will not be subjected to this unjustly position in future. Rest assured, I will speak up for you should you be targeted by my family when they discipline my niece or nephew.

Farewell Alix Tay

On January 30th, while my cousin, Alix was hiking Snow Mountain, the second highest mountain in Taiwan, she fell into the valley. When the rescue team reached her, she had no vital signs. She was pronounced dead in the wilderness far away from home.  As usual, my youngest sister had dutifully shared the tragic news with her siblings via Facebook.

I was shocked by the news as she was an avid hiker and had always showed her utmost respect for mother nature. And she was so young, she was only 42. "How could this had happened to her?", I asked. My 2nd sister had posted news feed about our cousin's tragedy and it donned to me, it was the snow. The snow was her final nemesis. While she was an experienced hiker, snow changed the game. I was sad but I shed no tears. I tried but I just could not shed a tear for her.

She left us a week before our grandmother's birthday celebration and a cousin's wedding and a fortnight before Chinese New Year.  There is never a good time to die. She truly made it difficult for her parents to break the news to grandma. No one can picture how grandma will take the news. She is over 90 and the news would probably stricken her. If she were to be informed about my cousin's demise, I imagined she would cancel her birthday celebration altogether. There will be no birthday nor Chinese New Year celebration this year. At first, the collective decision was to postpone the news until after Chinese New Year and the latest instruction to the family is to hide the news from her for as long as possible.

We spend many Chinese New Year holidays at grandma's house. When I was little, I always look forward for this time of the year. Besides the red packets from aunts and uncles, I look forward to play with my cousins. Alix was the ring leader. She bore the brunt of the mischief created by us cousins since she was also the oldest in the pack. She made the best Maggie Mi curry flavored noodle. She had her own twist in cooking the noodle. Instead of waiting for the water to boil then put in the noodle, she lets the noodle and water boil together. Then she waited patiently for the noodle to cook to perfection. That year, we had supper for most nights at grandma's. She will be remembered as someone who loved to eat and knew the best places to eat in Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya.

She had freckles all over her face. As asian, flawless skin is preferred over freckles. I recalled my mother telling my sister and I that we are fortunate to be born with flawless skin unlike our dear cousin.I did not know what it meant then. I don't know if her freckles bothered her. She also did not have a slim built and I don't know if that bothered her either.  She did not fit into the convention wisdom for physical beauty. We never talked about beauty regimens nor do we talked about relationships.

I had fond memories of my one and only waterfall trekking trip with her. Over a weekend, we went on unpaved roads, we needed a GPS to get to our destination, we slept in the middle of nowhere surrounded by mosquitoes and we showered in the river. We hiked along side a cascade of waterfalls. The water was pristine and the air was fresh. We were far away from civilization. It was an awesome short getaway. I remembered it was raining then, I had my hiking shoes and a waterproof jacket like a proper Californian hiker while she hiked with her sandals and an umbrella. She resembled a plain simple kampung girl. She knew her way around the slippery boulders. I had a magnificent time. Since she was a food connoisseur, the first thing we did when we got back to the city was to fill our appetite at a local restaurant before heading home.

When I want to remember her, I will always go back to the image of her in a t-shirt, shorts and sandals holding her umbrella as she walked in the rain from one boulder to another.