A 30-Second Bad Cop

A dear friend of mine had told her daughter to behave herself otherwise my boyfriend would be angry.  That's a typical Malaysian and Singaporean response when a child misbehaves in public. An individual will be picked out from the crowd sometimes at random and in this case my boyfriend whom she just met.

My friend could have picked me as the prosecutor of mischief which would be completely fine with me as this is the mode operandi when I was little. From the perspective of a newly minted mischief police aka my boyfriend, he felt that he just drew the short end of the stick. He was quick to absolve himself from being the bad cop to the child. And it was comical to see him put up both hands and shook his head and hands to show his disapproval. On a positive note, he has been introduced to some of the asian ways. I am sure there will be more to come.

Sometimes cops are picked out to scare kids into behaving in public. Supposedly, a child is throwing a tantrum, the parent may frighten the child by telling him or her that the cop would apprehend the child who misbehave. That does not put a good light on cops. It is important for the child to know that cops are there to protect and instill safety. If a child is in danger, he or she must feel safe going to a police for help. Certainly, this method of discipline of ours have some flaw.

Other times, the meanest, ugliest and beastly looking person is targeted for role to scare the child to conform. In Asia unfortunately, dark complexion south Indian men are naturally picked out to scare a child into obedience. Indirectly and while it is harmless from the appearance, we have been discriminating individuals with dark complexion since we are little. People are being judged more by their appearance and unfortunately, perception is often times the reality in the perceivers' eyes.

I know my sister does the same and same goes to a lot of my friends and relatives. We learn from osmosis as we observe our parents and people around us leveraging the same scare tactics. To change, it will take a lot of awareness and commitment before we change this method of discipline. 

Honey, you have my empathy. While I can't guarantee that you will not be subjected to this unjustly position in future. Rest assured, I will speak up for you should you be targeted by my family when they discipline my niece or nephew.