UnSolicited Renewal Reminders...

I subscribe to three magazines, one on business, another on health and also one on food.  While these magazines are from different publishers, I observe a consistent theme–they send out the renewal notices 6 months before the expiry either via email or via mail. Ostensibly, these maybe friendly reminders, they are actually unsolicited probes to buy more.


To whom it may concern,

I resent your proactivity. You have shrouded me from the actual expiry date of my subscriptions, spam my email box and fill my letterbox with unnecessary waste.

I am a loyal subscriber and instead of differentiating me as your regular subscriber, you treat me like any other prospect. Because of your proactivity, I have to track the real expiry dates on my own or renew way earlier than expected. I cannot trust your email notices and am forced to treat your emails as spam. I also have more waste in my home because of the home expiry notices. You have wasted my time in housekeeping my emails and letters for at least 5 months prior to the actual expiry. Do you know that you have inconvenient your loyal fan base?

My wish that you would treat your loyal subscribers differently. Give us the option to opt out of early notifications and honor our choices. We are not going anywhere so let us be. Focus your creativity on acquiring new prospects and let us be.

Yours sincerely,
A loyal subscriber

A Meaningful Christmas gift

I have a long distance relationship where my boyfriend is in Europe while I am in the States. He makes an appoint to text me daily before he goes to bed. At times, I don't respond to him when I am occupied with work. He is an avid reader and he is also my wikipedia.  We talked about authors and movies, though our preferred genre is quite different, we appreciate each other's insights. He is a fan of Jacque Brel and will soon start a blog about this singer. I am looking forward to read his first blog.

This Christmas, we had planned to open our gifts to each other on FaceTime on Christmas eve.
The gift from me to him did arrive way ahead of time but it was mistakenly returned to sender for some unforeseen reason which I will not delve into today. We got over it and he had made plans to deliver to him once the package was returned to me.

We had our FaceTime today where we were supposed to open each other's gift.  I am the fortunate one where I get to open my gifts and tell him what is he getting too. Have I mentioned that he is my romanticism savor ?

He brings romanticism to life for me. Before him, I find dating a hassle and looking for the someone special has little or no return of investment. I stopped looking for love. He had shaken my beliefs in the love department. When one finds their someone special, there is a lot of happiness and joy to go around. I appreciate the close emotional bond between us. Nothing is easy but it is worth it. He is a keeper :)

His gave me 5 books for Christmas. Each book has a special significant to him. These are books that had read when he was younger and/or  his favorite authors.  Each book includes an inscription about the significants to him. I will share the title and author here:

1. Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth
2. The Unbearable lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
3. The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster
4. The Tea Lords by Hella S. Haasse
5. The Periodic Table by Primo Levi

This is a special gift to me because he is sharing something about himself and an opportunity for me to get to understand him at a deeper level. It is a timeless gift and I can see us reading books together in our golden years.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

A dash of humor is good for the soul

I am suffering from pain from my left shoulder to my wrist. The constant soreness and numbness is just annoying and restricts my regular fun activities.  Since the pain lingered for over a week, I started seeing a chiropractor. The doctor was confident that he can fix me in 6 sessions. I am counting on him. To keep the pain at bay, I wear a wrist brace.

I conjured stories to respond to my friends about my injury. I thought I will share these stories here.

Story 1:
Back in my varsity days, I had a crush on a very charming either Finnish or Norwegian guy. The facts are blur to me since this happened so long ago. He is absolutely good looking with a very nice smile. We attended the same security class every Tuesday afternoon. He was working on his Masters while I was working on my Bachelor degree. When he smiled at me, I felt like I was in heaven. Somehow at that time, he had the uncanny ability to brighten my day. I saw him recently in a crowded space and the happy feeling of seeing him just came back to me. He was about 30 feet away from me. I tried to push myself through the crowd to get closer to him. I hurt my shoulder and lost sight of him. Sigh... I will have to content with the fact that Igor will only be a figment of my imagination.

Story 2:
There was a very cute guy at yoga and he was practicing next to me on my left side. Instead of practicing self awareness and concentrate on my practice, I was constantly stealing a glance at him from time to time. I am being punished for lack of concentration at yoga. Gosh... cute guys are so distracting.

Story 3:
T'is the season to shop and contribute to the economy. Shopping is a wonderful sport that requires money, time and stamina. While shopping over the weekend, I saw this gorgeous cobalt colored dress. Guess what, a lady was also eyeing for the same dress. We both grabbed it at the same time and both would not let go. It was a tub-of-war and we gave each other the evil eye too. Alas, I let her have the dress. The next day, I noticed pain on my shoulder which I attribute to the tug-of-war. It sure didn't pay to be kind.

It donned to me that I have changed. Let me explain why. If this incident were to happen to me when I first moved to the States a decade ago, I would provide the explanation. Also, I would be bewildered why one would respond with humor on such serious matter. At least, I have learnt to chill on some occasions which is good.

Preparation, Anticipation and Trust

Being prepared is good practice. Able to anticipate the next move is smart. Trusting oneself is key for success. Ever since I resurrected this blog, I take the time to reflect and understand myself a little better. At least,this is my current focus for this blog.

I must learn to let go and trust myself a little bit more. This is a cyclical exercise that I will have to remind myself whenever I can. There were 3 events that drew my attention to my desire to be more trusting and confident about myself.

The first was my major presentation to extravert audience, second was my one-on-one session with my yoga teacher and lastly, an epiphany while practicing on my piano.

 

I presented at 2 sales breakout session and each group has 30 sales people. I pitched to the sales representatives about a pilot financing program. I don't think I connected with the audience during the first session.  Before my second session, I told myself to relax, just let go and get through it. The second presentation was definitely better than the first. I had 2 person walking up to tell me the presentation was great.  I have to learn to trust myself more and let go when presenting.

I had two dry runs with my boss. My first dry run was dreadful despite all my preparation leading up to the first dry run. I wrote up the script then rehearse, rehearse and rehearse. 

My boss advised me to tell a story and get people excited about the pilot. He also pointed out that I was reading the slides. I got his points and at first, I was not convinced that I was reading the slides. I recorded my presentation and listen to it.  I was rigid and lack excitement. If I am not excited about what I am presenting why should others? I was determine to suck less at this opportunity. I went on YouTube to look at videos about "Steve Jobs Presentation" and tried to internalize the tips that I had accumulated through books and training. I rewrote my script ,injected enthusiasm when presenting and projected my voice. My second dry run went well and I also drew strength from my female colleagues. They listened to my presentation and gave me  good advise.  The point I want to get through to myself is that I have prepared and am ready. I seriously need to trust myself that I will come through.

Secondly, I am struggling with backbend at Yoga. My teacher pointed out that I flexed my hands too early while I was getting into the pose. I was in a hurry to get myself ready for the next sequence and inevitability put myself in a precarious position. Instead of letting my body naturally go into the position, I restricted my arm movement when I flexed my hands too early then I had to bend deeper and lowered my body more than required. I know the steps and yet for the fear of failing and getting ahead of myself are not helping at all. Again, I must remind myself that I know what I am doing and let nature takes its course.  

Lastly, finger position is important in transitioning from my keystroke to another while playing the piano and perhaps any musical instrument. I realized that I stiffened up many times while transition from keystrokes to another. I consciously reminded myself to relax and that I know my stuff, it was much easier to play afterwards.

Things would be so much easier and fun if I don't take things so seriously. A dash of trust and self confidence go a long way especially knowing that I am prepared for the challenges ahead. Sometimes, I make my life miserable for nothing. 

Everyone needs a nudge from time to time

Prior to the Thanksgiving holidays, I was in a rut. I was not looking forward for social meetings. To me, Thanksgiving marks the start of social gatherings and ends after new year day. Either I stay home alone or ensure I have some plan for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year eve. I typically choose the latter as one should not be alone during the holiday season.

Since I was in lousy mood, everything appeared difficult and dull. I had decided that I will not make plans this holiday. I have convinced myself that I am very much deprived from the much needed time alone.  I will just stay home, relax, read and watch movies on NetFlix.

I am glad that I snapped out of this antisocial behavior on the Monday of the Thanksgiving week. I came across a video on TEDtalk and the presenter quoted Keith Johnstone. The Theatresports founder Keith Johnstone says that people who block offers are rewarded by the safety they attain, while people who accept offers are rewarded by the adventures they enjoy. This is a good philosophy especially during my antisocial state of mind.

I decided there and then that I will go with the flow this holiday. I accepted a friend's invitation that came in over the weekend for a pre-thankgiving dinner on Wednesday and was forwarded a Thanksgiving lunch invitation from a common friend who does not want me to spend the holiday alone.

At the pre-Thanksgiving dinner,  I had a discussion about Brisbane, Australia and this individual is planning to visit his family there in December. I told him about FairField, Garden Point Campus, Kangaroo Point, Sunshine Coast and Gold Coast. It brought back fond memories of my varsity days down under.

The theme of the Thanksgiving lunch is "United Nations Thanksgiving Dinner for Orphans" where there are representation from India, Russia, Malaysia, Boston and The Dakotas. It was a pleasant gathering with good food and wonderful people. The host would like everyone to share what we are thankful about. I am thankful for all the good journalism in the New York Times which inspire and invigorate me.

The host talked about her experience with Boudoir Photography and how it helped rebuild her self-confidence and self-esteem. Boudoir means a woman's private sitting room , dressing room or bedroom.
I think one can infer that boudoir photography is images of a woman in sexy lingerie at a private room setting.  It was entertaining listening to her as she described the processes and demonstrated the poses for us.  I am glad this experience of hers brought her joy and restored her self confidence.

Everyone needs a nudge from time to time. I am glad I woke up in time for a good Thanksgiving. It definitely trumps staying home alone with the tele.

I am glad to be back.

I used to practice Astanga Mysore style yoga every Thursday. It is a self practice yoga where one would come to class and start working on either primary series or second series asanas. In case you are wondering, everyone may work on different poses, the class is well run and not at all chaotic. I had begun to practice second series so I worked on the primary series and half way through the second series during class. November 2011, my teacher went on an extended maternity leave and there were sub teachers and eventually the Thursday evening class was canceled. 

I started attending a Sunday afternoon class with a different teacher where she teaches instructed led Ashtanga and allows advanced student to work on self-practice yoga at the corner of the class. In this class I practiced the primary series only. In October, I overstressed my metatarsal bones on my right foot  probably from indoor rock climbing and wearing heels at work. I took a month off from yoga and started back again in November.

I was elated to see my teacher's name in the roster for the Sunday morning class and went to class. When I walked into class, it felt different as the placement of mat has changed. In the past, there were 2 rows and on each row, yogis faced one another and there was an empty aisle in the center. To accommodate more yogis, all mats face the front of the room and the space between one yogi and another is much smaller that what I was used to.

My teacher saw me and gave me a hug. It feels great that my teacher acknowledges my existence in class. I started to feel that I am finally home. I can't think of a better word than "home" for now. There are 2 teachers for the morning class and both helped and guided me through the primary and secondary poses.  

I have more support in getting better at yoga in this class. I missed the one-on-one guidance and now I feel more at home. During chanting, I sensed more energy around me as though there was a spiritual presence to welcome me to class. I told myself I was glad to be home. 

For the first time after so long, I started to practice second series in class. During my hiatus from serious practice, I lost my ability to complete the bridge to standing sequence. I am afraid and a lot of it is mental. I am patience and I know with the help of my teachers, I will be able to find my way to complete this sequence again. 

I was in pain all over and I am glad to be back in the swing of things.  It is great to be surrounded with a great support system: great teachers and motivated yogis. I am glad to be back.

Grapes … An Aphrodisiac?

I live in California where grapes are available all year round. Typically the grapes sold are either locally grown or from South America. I was inspired to eat locally grown food after reading 'Cuisine Economique' by Jacque Pepin. As a result of that, I buy only local grapes. I prefer red over green grapes and if seedless is an option, I would go for it too.  I learn to appreciate locally grown food where ever I go. 

I traveled for a week around Rome and Umbria Region. On my first night in Rome, I was offered complimentary grapes for dinner. When I bit into these grapes, the skin lightly pierced open creating a sound like when one bites into a crisp apple and the sweet juice just burst into my mouth. I enjoyed savoring the grapes: anticipating the light piercing sound of crisp apple and the sweet juice oozing from the grapes.  I felt I was eating a heavenly fruit of the roman gods. After that, I had grapes almost everyday during this trip.  

It is recommended in travel references to have gelato especially the ones that are certified as Gelaterie Artigianale. I did what was recommended and I had gelato almost everyday. While I enjoyed gelato, the food that etched most in my memory is their grapes. 

During dinner at the Bed & Breakfast: Casale San Bartolomeo, Gabriele served grapes for dessert and I declared aloud "Ah… grapes , the italian aphrodisiac!". Later that night, my boyfriend shared that he thought I was funny. I chalked it up to my new found experience with grapes and thanks to the wine for the courage to proclaim my appreciation for the lovely italian grapes.

Engaging With Difficult Individuals

One of my favorite columnists on The New York Times is Joe Nocera.  In the article titled "Two Days in September" , he rationalized the reasons for the demise of Occupy Wall Street. The article by Joe Nocera reminded that I get no where by avoiding difficult people.

Here's the excerpt from his article:

But the main reason is that, ultimately, Occupy Wall Street simply would not engage with the larger world. Believing that both politicians and corporations were corrupt, it declined to dirty its hands by talking to anyone in power. The takeover of the park — especially as the police threatened to force the protesters out — became an end in itself rather than the means to something larger. Occupy was an insular movement, whose members spoke mainly to each other.

The behavior of the people in Occupy Wall Street resonates with me as I too partake in the same behavior in handing certain people in my professional life. Perhaps I cannot see the forest for the trees. Before I even go into the discussion, I know that it is futile getting my message across. At times I avoid it altogether or just go along with the discussion knowing that the outcome will the status quo.

I recognize that I can't get my way all the time and I am guilty for not making an effort to turn a difficult situation around because of the difficult individual that I had to work with. Sometimes, I shield myself under the pretext that I have to pick my battles.  Instead, I should start to see things differently. I will observe and horn my skill in the art of engaging in dialogue for positive outcomes. The game changer for me is self-confidence and being nonjudgmental when engaging in conversation with difficult individuals. May be force be with me :)

Baby K - Bum Shuffling Rocks

My best-friend's daughter is 11 months old and i gave her a moniker "Strawberry Head" because in the morning, the shape of her head resembles a strawberry where a cluster of hair on her crown stands straight like the calyx of the strawberry. 

I warmed up to her during my short stay at their home in Aberdeen.

She is one special baby and she is the first baby that I know who does not crawl. Instead of crawling she moves by scooting around on her posterior using her hands to propel her forward. Based on my best friend or her mummy, she will skip crawling entirely while learning to walk. And that very movement is called bum shuffle. It took me awhile before I remember the term. It was beyond entertaining to see her scoot around using her derriere. I miss Strawberry Head.