LR is one of my most gregarious buddies. Everyone loves to talk to her. She organizes gatherings so that all her friends get to keep in touch regularly. I enjoy dining with her and she is one of my few friends who loves to pig-out. We don't have a care in the world when we eat. Waistline and calories do not exist in our gastronomy literature.
She has a positive disposition in life. A few years back, I got a call from her where she had informed me that she had a brain tumor and had scheduled for surgery in a few days. She just wanted me to know that she was out of reach for 2 weeks. I worried for her while her main focus was to ensure that she called up her friends so that we knew that she was out of reach temporary. Our call was short because she had a list of friends to call. Instead of being consume with the surgery, she was on a mission or perhaps it was her distraction to the issue at hand. My point is only a positive forward thinking person would do what she did.
She met someone through internet dating after she had recovered from her surgery. I have seen JG a few occasions during LR's gatherings at a local irish pub. Though I hardly talked to him nor took the time to get to know him better, I had the impression that he is a good person for LR. When a couple is in love, there is something special in the air— the loving gaze, stealing kisses and the natural intimacy between two people. Sadly, I saw none of that. I saw a cordial friendship between a man and a woman. Perhaps, they have mastered the art of delayed gratification which is the essence of their relationship.
They had broken up in March last year and the reason given by JG was that they were not compatible. Yet, JG had introduced LR to his family during Thanksgiving and they had spent new year eve together. LR shared that JG is a loner. His actions were conflicting and non-committal. All LR is asking for is acknowledgement from him and the very least to know where she stands in their relationship.
Like any normal female, LR sought out her girlfriends for support, comfort and validation. One friend told her to give JG an ultimatum because this method worked for her friend. LR knows that this is not the way to get her man to commit. Since he is a loner, she runs the risk of losing him prematurely. Another friend advised her to stay close to him and don't let another woman come into the picture. This is what her friend employed to ensure her husband is hers only. LR's insecurity had triggered her need to inspect him therefore she had secretly checked his call history and scoured his home for any trace of another woman. She is somewhat relieved that she found no suspicious calls or female items in his home.
I knew from speaking to her that she was leaning towards working things out with JG. She was looking for support to continue her quest. She had compared guys that she had met after JG and none exceeded her expectation. She knows best what she needs. I gave her my support to hang in this limbo relationship because that is what she wanted. I pray she does not confuse his kindness and empathy as love. She is an intelligent lady and she needs to recognized that when it is time to call it quits she has the courage to make the tough call.
I am no expert in relationship and all I can do for her is be a good listener. Follow your heart, my dear friend. What don't break you makes you stronger, LR!
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