My lessons learned in 2013

As I reflected on past events in 2013, I want to pen down some references that transformed my beliefs in 2013.

An article on Harvard business Review has triggered a need in me to look at scheduling differently. I learned to manage my energy level over a well thought out agenda/plan.  Now, I take into account my energy level at different times of the day and prioritize important tasks during the time when my energy level is the most optimum. I am getting a little smarter about managing me.

Another article on Harvard Business Review talked about promotion-focused and prevention-focused behavior. I knew before reading the article that I am partial towards prevention-focused. The simple test at the end of the article corroborated with my suspicion. I wanted to have traits of promotion-focused and perhaps, I am tired of pointing the obvious while other people can talk convincingly to get recognized with outrages and non realistic ideas. I tried to act promotion-focused but subconsciously I articulated my thoughts and conveyed my intention in a prevention-focused manner.  I only came to realized  my bipolar intent vs action when a coworker pointed it out to me when I was exchanging accounts between two of my direct reports.I am taking this out of context but hopefully I make my point. I said, "If the new assignment does not work out, I will work with you to ensure we get  things moving in the right direction". It would have been a whole lot better if I would have said "This change is good for the team. This guy will be a great fit and I got his and your back and I assure you that he will succeed in this account".  Everyone buys in to someone who can speak convincingly.

We are only human beings and likability is an important trait especially when moving up the corporate ladder. One of my immediate superiors resigned this year. He is a brilliant communicator, driven, someone who gives energy, has a plan and executes his plan.  He made it clear that he was looking to move up and he worked really hard throughout his tenure at the company. He was not liked by a key leader despite giving his best. Alas,  he knew in his guts that he was not going to get what he wanted and resigned. I personally believe that likability has deprived him the opportunity to move further along in the company. It was an appropriate move on his part to seek opportunities elsewhere. C'est la vie. Learn to exercise the power of likability.

Self-convicing is a fallacy. When my ex-superior talked about this "key leader", he was always diplomatic and spoke of this person with reverence. I was not convinced by his responses. After he left the company, it became clear to me that he was not trying to convince me but himself.  Nevertheless he tried. I learned to remind myself to follow my heart. Things will happen in due time. Self-convincing is a waste of time.

Spiders on Christmas

At a Christmas tree decorating party, I picked up a gold spider ornament from the box, unfortunately one of the legs broke. The host rushed over to assess the breakage and proceeded to tell me about the folk legend —On Christmas eve night, the spiders sneaked into the room ,climbed onto the decorated tree, touched every branch and twig so they can see all the lovely shining things. As they crept all over the tree, they left behind a trail of spider web. When the Christ child came to bless the tree, he  saw the joy of the spiders and also the mother's disappointment to see her beautiful tree shrouded in spider web. So the Christ child touched the spider webs and they turned into sparkling gold and sliver. And that's why there are tinsel on Christmas tree and a custom to include a gold or silver spider ornament among the decorations on the tree. 

I am not sure what will happen to the little gold spider with the broken leg. I hope the host will fix it in time for Christmas.  

Merry Christmas to all!

What is your personal brand ?

I have been mulling over this question for the past few days— "What is my personal brand?". I have attended a meeting where the guest speaker had asked us to think about our personal brand and then to share our personal brand with the person next to us. I was so consumed with the question that I had failed to listen to the person next to me. I have no recollection of whatever that was shared with me. As it happened quickly, my response to the individual was "My personal brand is to do the best in everything I do".

Looking back, while my personal brand sounded rather cliché and at the same time I suspect there are a lot of truth in the statement. It was the first thing that came to me when I was under the time pressure to share something. I am not known to make up things. It was impromptu and without analysis paralysis which is a good data point during reflection. 

Now that I have given it some thought, I will respond with the following when I am presented with the same question in future.

 

My personal brand is to seek out things that I love to do and do the things very well. I want to embody the spirit of experimentation and exploration. Based on my experience, when I do the things that I love, new opportunities will be presented to me in some ways or forms.

This reminds me of a quote from Winston Churchill—

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Vision Board, Dream Board, Reminder Board, Action Board and etc..

I have attended a Vision Board party earlier this month. Vision board is a collection of motivational sayings, photos and cut-outs from magazines that probably reflects our dreams and wishes. I was told that I should hang my vision board in my room and look at it everyday. That way my dreams will come true.  I am a believer that dreams will come true through hard work and we can't merely depend on luck or chance. While I am a very practical person, I understand the rational of a vision board from the host's perspective.

Creating and looking at the vision board regularly can help maintain the goal in our subconscious. It reminded me of a friend from primary school who achieved first place in school in a major examination. I recalled her telling me that her mother had pasted newspaper cuttings of students who have achieved full As. The newspaper cuttings kept her focused on the goal and  reminded her to put in the hard work and strived for full As.

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” – Leonardo da Vinci

I have read in many articles that when goals or intentions are declared openly and aloud to others, the action will satisfy our self-identity just enough that our motivation to achieve the goals dramatically decreases over time. After declaring intentions on the Vision Board,  dreaming alone will not turn our dreams into reality. I recognized the behavior as I am guilty of doing just that. I shared my intention to practice yoga 3 times week and included this plan in my resolution. I have almost never practice yoga more than once a week. 

Regardless, creating a vision board is a good excuse to connect with my feminine side. We,girlfriends,  gathered at a friend's place. The party commenced with laughter, food and beverage of choice.  Once the host has accomplished her first mission that was to feed us, we gathered in the living room to peruse magazines and be inspired by our discoveries. There was a moment of peace where the only sound was flipping pages and tearing out pages. Then came the second phase of sieving through our findings and arranging them on our boards before the final stage of sticking the cut-outs to create our masterpieces.

My board represents a reflection of my thoughts while I was going through the process of building my vision board. I was not dreaming about acquiring material objects. I will confess that I was considering to include a picture of an Audi however, it was not at my disposal that evening. I suppose it was not meant to be in this vision board after all.

I tuned inwards as I was building out my vision board. I wanted to be inspired, be less self-critical, have a little self-affirmation, self confidence, self respect and to nurture my body, mind and soul.  I am happy with the end product.  I can guarantee that I will not heed the advice of avid vision board fans about looking at my vision board on a daily basis.  My vision board had help me frame my thoughts and will serve as a reminder and a boast to keep me focus and continue to learn and grow.

Flat Tire Equals Note To Self To Slow Down

It is rare for me to remember my dream. I did just that a few days ago. I don't know where I was in my dream but I remembered vividly that I walked to my car and noticed that two tires were a little flat. I inspected my tires and believed that I can proceed to drive home. My plan was to get my roommate to help me out with the flat tire situation. I got into my car and immediately after I drove out the parking spot, the front tire completely punctured.  I awakened from my dream.

I pulled out my iPAD to search for the interpretation of tires in dreams. Here are some interpretations from the web: 

"To see or dream that you have a flat tire indicates that you are feeling emotionally drained and weary. Your goals are temporarily hindered and as a result, you are unable to progress any further. "

"Almost without exception the tires are defective in some way and thus prevent the vehicle from moving or only allow it to move very slowly. This is an analogy for you not making the progress you desire within the waking world.If the tire is flat in the dream but otherwise appears undamaged it may be possible to pump it back up. Which means that wherever your progress has been stalled in the real world that with a little help you may be able to get on the road again. On the other hand if the tire is punctured it means that the situation is going to be more difficult to correct. The number of tires that are damaged can be relevant. The more tires that are involved the more difficult it will be to make changes in real life."

"To dream of having a flat tire (whether on a car or bicycle) foretells problems caused by hidden jealousy. Try being tactful for a while and controlling your feelings. If you dreamed of changing a flat tire, this is a warning to conserve your resources against an unexpected need."

I take it that my dream is telling me to slow down and be patience. My boss left the company recently who is smart, brilliant and energetic. He is the kind of leader who gives energy instead of draining energy from others. With his departure, my career aspiration will have to wait. Now, I first have to invest time in getting to know my new superior and adjust to the changes in my work environment. I know I am not alone in this endeavor and will not fret about it.

According Louis Pasteur, in the fields of observation, chance favors only the prepared mind. My work will be running auto-pilot while I will take this opportunity to reflect and collect my thoughts. I will immerse myself in learning about a new product offered by my company and perhaps learn something about Big Data. For the time being, I want to be like a sponge where I selectively absorb goodness and avoid ruminating on bad thoughts.  I want to come out strong and prepared for whatever that comes my way in 2014.

No need sugar for my tea anymore!

People said that sugar is bad. I used to drink approximately six cups of caffeinated tea with 2 sachets of sugar per day. And I did that for many years until I was advised by my OGBYN to cut down on caffeine after  she found cyst on my breasts. I just can't do without caffeinated drink cold turkey. My first cup of the day remained caffeinated while I opted for herbal tea for the rest of the day. Amazingly the cyst went away in two months or so. The by product when I cut back on my caffeinated beverage, I also cut back on my sugar intake. 

I kept up with one cup of caffeinated drink per day for about 2 years. I was reminded again that sugar is bad for me.  The truth is I was motivated to cut back on sugar because of my  expanding waistline and my pants are getting tight. I may have a slim built, it felt awful all the same when clothes did not fit well.  I reduced to one sachet of sugar with my tea. I had tried to eliminate sugar completely. It did not go well with my taste bud.  

I found the solution to cut down my sugar intake for tea completely.  I used to dip the tea sachet for 5 times in hot water then disposed the tea bag. Tea tastes different when it is seeped for a few seconds over the recommended 3.5 minutes. In fact tea tastes better after it is seeped for 3.5 minutes and sugar is dispensable. Now, I love my decaffeinated Earl Grey tea and sugar free.

Scoliosis .... thanks for being a huge part of my life

On the onset, I want to clarify that I probably have a very mild case of Scoliosis. A normal person will have a S shape curve while I have a zigzag shape or abnormal lateral curvature on my spine.  I have been exhibiting symptoms of Scoliosis since I was a child but Scoliosis was masqueraded as poor posture, vanity and uneven leg lengths.

I have started to experience pain in my right knee about two months ago. I cannot do lunges so no warrior pose, I cannot put weight on my right knee cap so no camel pose. It was timeout from yoga and I have not returned to yoga class since then. My GP had advised to rest and to apply ice to reduce the internal swelling on my knee. After three weeks, the pain went away but my bones have the tendency to make cracking sounds and loudly too. I figured I needed to consult a good doctor with background in sports medicine. The doctor has diagnosed me with Scoliosis. I was advised to strengthened my inner thigh muscle of my right leg and to wear orthotics insole for my right foot since one leg is 1/4 inches shorter than the other.

I went to my podiatrist this afternoon to request for a new pair of orthotics insoles with the right side  1/4 inches higher. My last pair was custom made 8 years ago and it is time to get a new pair. When I was lying down on my back, my right leg is shorter. When I sit upright, my left leg is shorter. Doc does not think that it is a good idea to add the extra height to the right insole. My leg lengths is highly dependent on my posture. Scoliosis, you complicate things!

After the human gait analysis, Doc observed that my calves are very tense and suggested stretching them daily. ( Sigh! Besides stretching my arms in the morning, I need to stretch my calves too. I suspect it will take longer to get ready in the morning as I age. Friends, don't bother to plan meet ups in the morning during my golden years) He gave me a small piece of plastic insole to add height to my existing insoles to evaluate if the additional elevation is even necessary. I will check in with him in a week or so.

As a child, I was told to stand properly because I appeared to be standing with one shoulder higher than the other. My friends thought that I was being silly. Also, it didn't help that  I was very skinny then and my collar bones stuck out like a cloth hanger with a cloth peg on each side. My skinny structure just made the uneven shoulders more apparent to observers. It did not bother me at all as I just went on with my life.  Scoliosis aka uneven shoulders was like an imaginary friend that others noticed from time to time.

I was told by my mum and her apprentices that cutting my hair can be quite a challenge.  The comments were always the same—"it is difficult to give you a symmetrical line for your bangs or hair length".  Alas, they all caved in despite well intention to give me a nice haircut. It was not because I fidget while getting my haircut. Finally, the truth has surfaced. Scoliosis, you are the cause of the optical illusions suffered by many hairdressers that cut my hair and you deprived me from getting symmetrical bangs!

I have a light bulb moment. I finally realized after all these year why there is always a noticeable asymmetry at the waist line. I can never get skirts or pants to sit straight or should I say aligned with my waistline.  The issue wasn't with the skirts nor the pants but Scoliosis. Sigh....

Alright, enough whining from me. I will learn to live in harmony with Scoliosis.  

Baseball fever 2013

Who would have known that I would be hooked on baseball? For the longest time, I thought it was the most boring sports ever. I have been to a minor league game and a major league game a few years ago. Both times I was invited to the game. I found the sideline activities more interesting than the game itself.

I watched World Series 2012 when Giants won the championship.  I tuned in because people around me are doing so.  Since San Francisco is the home of the Giants, I cheered for the team too in the comfort of my living room. Shortly after Giants won the World Series, the trophy went around town and made a short stop at my work place. It was a lively event where my fellow co-workers donned their Giants jerseys and queued to take picture with the trophy. I did not join the club then.

A couple of weeks back, I watched a live Giants game on television and took the time to understand the MLB rules. I got some of the basics down— 9 innings in one game, 3 outs ends 1/2 inning and as I understand more rules, I started to appreciate the game more and I started to watch more games. It was not until recently that I came to realize that there are a lot of baseball fans around me.   I turned to my fellow co-workers to deepen my understanding of this sport — RBI, foul ball, fair ball and balk. I am fortunate to have many living wikipedia about baseball around me. It sure makes it a very conducive environment to learn about the game. I am hooked.

Since I have acquired sufficient knowledge to appreciate the games,  I started to google or wikipedia the baseball players. I find it very special that each player has a moniker e.g. Tim Lincecum is "The freak", Pablo Sandoval is "panda", Marco Scutaro is "Blockbuster" and Hunter Pence is "The Reverend".  As I read through the players stats, it reminded me that age is catching up on me. Age may be just a number, it is still sad that these players are younger than me. That is not going to change anytime soon so I will get over it.

Perhaps I like baseball because it is a low contact sports. I find baseball a very gentleman game. There is hardly any shouting match between the umpires and players. There is literally no tackling in baseball. Everyone behaves. The players do not show much emotion during the game. The pitchers are probably the most even keel people in the game and they demonstrated strength and resilience in the way they conduct themselves. One thing, I cannot comprehend is the spitting. Why are players spitting all the time? It seems to be deeply rooted in the baseball culture.  This does not make sense but it is happening in every game.

I watched a live Giants game at AT&T ballpark with my boyfriend to celebrate my anniversary. I cheered and joined in the fun. It's a family event and a sport for everyone. I enjoyed myself immensely. This time, I focused on the game more than activities happening on the sideline. It is as though the light bulb just turned on after so many years before I learn how to appreciate the game. But I am glad I did and I am hooked.

I am taking a hiatus from a self-absorbed friend

I have a friend who is going through some challenging times and she is late on her car loan payment again. Since my contact was given to the car leasing company, I have gotten calls to ask for her to call back when she is late on dues.  

The first time, I received a call from the leasing company, I called her and left her a voice mail. She did not bother to call back. I also learnt that  the most effective way to get in touch with her is via Facebook.  There were several other calls and I was asked by this friend to ignore the calls or block the caller. Last week, I got a voice call from the leasing company requesting my friend to call back and based on my missed calls, the caller ID indicated that the number is blocked.  I left her a note on FB. While I know she has read my message, she did not respond to me. I wrote her another note where I expressed my frustration of her non action and below is her response:

"you have every reason to be mad at me. I haven't been a good friend at all. Sorry to implicate you in this but I thought I can handle anything that comes my way but I was wrong. I am back log in most payments again. it's the car financial ppl that's been bothering you.. Since I will always be late till I clear it off this year, it's the last year and they do not listen to my plea to not call you or any of our friends, you might need to either ignore or block their calls.. Sorry it's the only way I can think of and even that I still can't help and you have to do it yourself . What luck to have a friend like me huh?"

I have no intention of responding to her FB message. I am not mad at her but disappointed at how she can be so irresponsible and ignorant at the same time.

She had offered the suggestion to block the car leasing company's number, I can block the main line which I have already done. What about calls from the direct lines within this company ? I work for a global company, I cannot ignore all the phone numbers coming from the same area code as the leasing company. Also sometimes international calls come in as block numbers, I can't ignore that either. Sigh.... ignorance is not bliss in such matters.

Since she moved to San Diego several years ago, I tried calling her from time to time. I left her voice mails and she never called back. I stopped calling her altogether. The last time I spoke to her was when she needed my contact as a reference to lease a car and that was at least 3 years ago.

I am disappointed that she did not take the time to keep in touch. A common friend, E of hers and mine has decided to ignore her altogether. There is a lot of things to do before migrating to a new country and there is no explanation in the world that can absolve this friend for not telling E about her decision to move. 

She is my friend since we were in primary school and we sat next to each other in secondary school. I have seen first hand how her dad's demise have changed her life at a tender age of 17 years old. Her then boyfriend lived across from my first boyfriend. She was pregnant out of wedlock intentionally because she wanted a baby.  It is a taboo to have a baby before marriage in asia. She went against the social norm where typically a woman should marry up and she took the reverse route. I suspect she is struggling to make ends meet now.  We , her friends, respect her chosen life and none of us think less of her.  This friend has forgotten that we can be her best support system to get her through tough times.  Hopefully, she will come around soon. For now, I am taking a hiatus from her.

They actually uphold a little bit of the chinese wedding tradition.

My sister planned for two wedding ceremonies. The first was for the groom's family and the next ceremony was for the bride's family and the new couples' friends and colleagues.  Since the second ceremony involved the bride's family, I helped out a little bit.  The fact that the new couple simplified their wedding,  I wasn't sure what's in and what's out in terms of wedding traditions. Also, my parents have been very accommodating to the new couples wishes.  Basically, I played by ear and just went along with whatever I was told.

My mother's youngest sister a.k.a my 8th aunt, she came a day earlier. I know that's a lot for any average family. My maternal grandmother has 13 children, over 50 grandchildren and perhaps 5 and growing number of great grandchildren. I am glad to have the opportunity to spend time with my aunt.She is well-versed in wedding traditions for different Chinese dialect groups and is available for wedding engagement to uphold chinese traditions. Without her presence, I highly doubt that any Hokkien wedding tradition will be observed during my sister's wedding. Thank you to you, my dear aunt!

Normally, this is a loud and merry event and typically, the groom and his entourage will go over to the bride's home to pick up the bride. Before he can see his bride, he has to negotiate with the bridesmaids: $$$ in the red packet ,play some games, sing a song, declare his love aloud to the bride and etc.  In my sister's wedding, the groom came solo. In lieu of negotiation, the new couple took photograph with friends and relatives.

According to Hokkien tradition, it is inauspicious for the bride's family if the new couple leave the house before 10am in the morning. Therefore we delayed the commencement of the tea ceremony where the couple offered tea to the elderly: my parents, aunts and uncles for my father's side only. Tea was not served to relatives from my mother's side because my grandmother wasn't presence and it is not appropriate to proceed without her.

Later, the couple has to bow first to god(sky) then to our ancestors before proceeding to bow to my parents. It is disrespectful and may anger god or ancestors if the sequence is not followed.
Luckily, my aunt was there to guide the new couple throughout the ceremony at my parent's place.

We took group photographs before the couple was allowed to leave the premise and it was after 10am. My sister brought along with her a fan, upon getting into the car, she disposed the fan. In turn, my mother handed her a new fan. This is uniquely a Hokkien tradition. I understand from my aunt that this action signifies that the bride gets rid of any bad habits and start fresh. Also, it is consider bad luck/clash to see other weddings. She can use the fan to shield from viewing of other people's wedding.

While these tradition may not have any significance to the new couple, I am glad they went along with it. We joined the couple at their wedding reception for a 8-course luncheon. My favorite part was the slideshow about the new couple.  

My sister's wedding ceremony in Singapore.

This week I am back in Malaysia and Singapore for my sister's wedding. Our family is from Malaysia while her husband's is from Singapore. In Asia, getting married is a family affair and I fully anticipate "drama" as this new couple does their best to accommodate the requests of their parents.

I am pleasantly surprised how my sister and her husband were able to pare down on custom wedding rituals while keeping the harmony with their parents. My sister's mother-in-law is a  Peranakan Chinese or Baba Nyonya. Instead of wearing a white wedding gown, my sister borrowed a Kebaya from her mother-in-law while her husband was in a batik shirt. They had tea ceremony at his parent's place and their first wedding luncheon at Lai Wah Restaurant on Bendemeer Road for her husband's immediate family.There were 4-tables (approx 10 persons per table) for a nine course meal. Nine is one of the auspicious numbers in Chinese and nine means "long lasting".

As a child, I looked  forward to wedding and anniversary banquets for the Shark's Fin soup and I still do.The restaurant served the soup with crab meat and I had 2 addional helping of the soup. Ah... divine. I also devoured the roasted sucking pig and the Venison Fried Hor-Fun.  I craved for these dishes the following night. It was a pity that I did not pack the dishes to-go. Another popular dish was their Yam pot with cachew nuts and prawn. I am not a fan of yam but it was a delightful eating this dish and I did not have the feeling that the yam is heavy or dry. Also, I came fully prepared with my Antacid pills just in case I over indulged.

I followed the new couple to their alma mater so that they can take photograph of themselves in their wedding costume. They used to live in the same dormitory area and they shared some of their stories with me: the guys dug a small pond for throwing people into, built their own barbecue pit , my sister had boiled big pots of water to make colored starch for their man-made slide during orientations and a parade of stolen undies and panties adorned their dormitory. The pond had been covered and the barbecue pit had been removed, their good old varsity days remain etched in their memory.

The second wedding ceremony will be in Pulai Spring Resort Johor,Malaysia. It will also be a lunch banquet so that relatives and friends from afar can travel to town for the wedding. There will approximately 200 people attending the ceremony. I am looking forward for the celebration as the couple flex their wits to simplify, personalize and conclude the ceremony with a bang!

Doh... Recording vs. Taping

I am privileged to experience new things and for the most part I embrace change.

To me, relevance is all about being malleable and adaptable to the changes happening around your environment. Change is the new constant unless one wants to live off the grid. I have an international appetite so being a locavore is out of the question. Having said that I do my little part to support the local farmers. Also, I may not be a social butterfly, I love technology that connects people.

I love my iPAD. It revolutionizes the way I do things — consume information, read on Kindle or iBook, play the piano or drums on GarageBand, video conferencing using FaceTime or Skype (depends on my boyfriend's network connectivity) and my latest fav is "Flipboard" where I feast my eyes with beautiful pictures around the world and also read the news too. I brought "the experience" from my iPAD and I love every moment of it. 

At work, I have finished recording a presentation on PowerPoint. The audio quality is subpar so I used the recording app on my iPhone to complete the recording and then attached the recording onto the PowerPoint presentation. I had asked a co-worker, senior person and veteran to review the presentation. He heard a blip on one of my slides and suggested that I re-TAPE it. I thanked him for his feedback and planned to redo the recording. That very same evening, I may not recall the context of the conversation with my roommate but I vividly recalled that I had suggested him to TAPE the TV program on the DVR.  Doh...  While my roommate comprehended my response, I might be totally incomprehensible for an individual who has not lived during the Tape -era.  I am just a tiny bit baffled that I made such a blunder.

I forgot to practice what I preached

I am happily occupied with an interesting project. One of the initiatives includes developing learning modules for the global team.  I decided on the training curriculum and assigned different members as video content creator.  I am also the creator of the first learning module.

I work closely with P on his presentation as his module is key because his presentation content builds on the knowledge acquired from the past learning modules.  He needs to weave all the knowledge learned and presents to the audience in a simple and engaging way.  At the end, there is a call to action for the global teams to present the information to their customers.  He has created a very personable and engaging presentation that I believe will be well received when we rollout his learning video.

Consistently, I always tell my team that I prefer to hash out details and make adjustment accordingly before sharing information with the outside the team. I have established a good rapport and understanding with my team that they can voice their opinion and share their positive or negative or neutral feedback.  I asked P and was respectfully told that I was regimented and stiff after he had listened to my video recording. Since then I have made adjustment to my video. Now, I am anxious to hear the feedback after it is released at the end of the month.

The irony is I have been pounding at P to create an engaging presentation and to avoid coming across as a factoid overload type of technical presentation. Yet, it only donned to me much later that I did not practice what I preached.  I did not lead by example. Shame on me as a leader!

Try and bonne chance

I am reading "Stupeur et Tremblements" by Amélie Nothomb for french class. It is about a bi-lingual Belgium lady who lives in Japan and speaks fluent French and Japanese. She works in an established Japanese firm where she encountered many inconceivable challenges from the beginning of her career at this firm. She understands the hierarchical order and to be submissive to the higher ranking employees in Japanese culture. Though she is tasked to perform dull and repetitive menial jobs, she took the challenges in good faith. I am only part way through the book, until this point,the book is entertaining. 

One of her responsibilities was to photocopy many copies of the rules of golf. Upon completion of this task, she knew in high degree of confidence that her superior will find fault in her work and she was destined to redo the task . The reason given was her copied document was not aligned. She was instructed to copy one page at a time over using a well engineered auto paper feeder that produces consistent and precision results. C'est un incroyable! 

Somehow, Jackie Chan's Kung Fu movies came to mind where Jackie was set out to learn from a master. For most of his movies that I have seen as a child, his master started him off with routines to build his foundation for Kung Fu. For example, he performed very basic squats and stayed still in the squat position while he balanced weigh on his shoulders for a long time.  Jackie's master guided him to be better in martial arts while Amélie's superior was being ridiculous for not leveraging her strength for the betterment of the company.

At some point in our lives, we encounter people that truly want to help us move forward and some we wish were just a figment of our imagination. One must be smart to distinguish the two extremes and make the best of the situation. I am a firm believer that success is sweetest when you have worked hard and overcome road blocks before fruition.  

I listen to "Try" by Pink especially on a trying week and the song keeps me motivated to go on. 

Here's the chorus that truly inspired me to go further:

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try


For those who are having a trying week —make the right sacrifice , pick your battles, take baby steps,  internalize Albert Einstein's definition of insanity and have the courage to have the difficult conversation. Bonne Chance!

My Pet Peeve In The Ladies' Room

My pet peeve is to find a fellow co-worker chatting away on a cell phone in the ladies' room.  I happened to bump to one earlier this week. I suspect she may had forgotten to flush after she is done with her business. Sigh!

While I appreciate the convenience of modern technology, I deplore someone taking advantage of it in the restroom.  The intruder on the other side of the wireless device has somehow invaded the privacy of the temporary sanctuary, the public restroom.  It doesn't matter whether it is a tiny pop or a prolong machine gun like fart or even low thumper. The ladies' room is a shared private space where an individual could fart to her heart content  and is poised to create her own Pompeii in the privacy of the tiny cabins. Who cares whether the stream is flowing fast or slow or even just a squirt. I don't think someone beyond the four walls of this sanctuary should be allowed to tap into the happenings in here.

Perhaps, we have ourselves to blame as we do not confront these offenders face-to-face. I have co-workers that send a message by flushing incessantly to make conversation impossible. As for me, I typically take the path of least resistance and will retreat to a different restroom on a different floor.

Perhaps, it is alright to have a private phone conversation in public restroom for certain cultures. But it is still not acceptable to me.  Wait —technology has advanced way ahead of toilette etiquette. We have revolutionized the way we communicate and yet we are still catching up on simple toilette etiquette. Whose responsibility is it to renew the toilette etiquette for all to follow ? Video conference will be the next common medium of communication.  What is going to happen next ? Audio invasion might be a thing of the past and we would usher in the video era. Perhaps, the next best thing is to have sound proof cabin.  Just a thought.

Sonoma ... my casual plan

It is a known fact that most asian do not have the enzymes to breakdown alcohol quickly.  As I have very little tolerance to alcohol, it shows with a nice red hue all over my face whenever I consume a little alcohol. I would typically stick to one glass of wine or beer the entire night. Frugality is not at play here but self preservation as I am too shy to make the headlines among my friends.

Last Saturday, my friend ST has organized a wine tasting tour to Sonoma in celebration of her boyfriend's birthday.  It was a well thought out trip to the wine county. Besides wine tasting, she also included olive oil and chocolate tasting. My favorite part of the day was the food and wine pairing at Mayo Family Reserve Tasting Room.  I tried at least 12 tastings that day and enjoyed the over indulgence. Believe me it was hard work. 

If I were to plan a day trip to the wine tasting county and a trip that takes serious consideration on my low alcohol tolerance,  I would start of with an olive oil tasting. Why ? I want to put some oil in my stomach to dilute the effects of alcohol.  Then I would indulge in food and wine pairing. It was a fun experience at Mayo Family.  Although there were 7 courses, they were served in hors d'oeuvres style and there was sufficient time between courses to savor the wines and have lively conversation among friends. Then I will head to another tasting room to savor more wines and lastly end the day with chocolate tasting at the local artisanal chocolatier. While I may still end the day with a red hue on my face, I just might prevent a hangover the following day. All in all, it was a great experience.

Mayo Family: Winter Menu

The first 3 courses and wine pairing

The next 3 courses and wine pairing

Happy Belated Valentine's Day

Being in love is amazing and must be reciprocal. Simple gestures make the occasion memorable and uniquely ours. Love fosters creativity and desires to make our significant other happy.Despite being physically apart, I feel emotionally whole in my relationship with a very charming dutchman. Since he does not observe Valentine's day, I am proud that he made an effort and romanticized the occasion to make me feel special.

From me to him:
I am probably the most economically savvy girlfriend this year. I sent him a Valentine's day card with 7 post-it notes: one for each day to tell him how much I appreciate and love him.

From him to me:
He sent me valentine's e-card the day before Valentine's day because I was going on a road trip with my girlfriend the very next day. On top of that, he translated a poem from Toons Herman to English as to declare his love for me. I returned on President's day morning to receive a bouquet of tulips at my door step.

Last but not least, we FaceTime-ed to wish each other Happy belated Cupid's day.  

I am sharing the full translation of the love poem by Toons Herman from Dutch to English courtesy of my dutchman.

I sing you, I refrain you
I sherry you, I wine you
I piano you and I flute you
I Rembrandt and I Monet you

I coffee and I tea you
I beach you and I ocean you
I spell you and I paper you
I mother you and I father you

But I so much want to ask you
Something much beyond a kiss
I so much want to request you
To do something for me:

Spring me, Summer me
September me and Winter me
Because I incessantly love you
Morning me, Midday me
Evening me and Night me
In other words;
Stay with me, hold on to me please

I want to see in your eyes again
the blossoming of the apple tree
And your summers I want to sense on my cheeks
I want to see leafs drop on my silent dream
And lights of Christmas dance on the wallpaper

Spring me, Summer me
September me and Winter me
Because I incessantly love you
Morning me, Midday me
Evening me and Night me
In other words;
Stay with me, hold on to me please!

My dutchman and I may be miles apart yet we found a way to make it a special occasion for us.  For folks who are in a long distance relationship, I hope you had a memorable V-day in spite of the distance and time zone differences. Happy belated V-day to all!

The Grand Canyon State

Finally, I made it to Grand Canyon National Park, one of the seven natural wonders of the world!

I have planned for the road trip to visit Sedona, Flagstaff and South Rim of the Grand Canyon. My friend, PG came along with me and was my faithful driver throughout the trip.

Day 1:
We flew into Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, rented a SUV, and started our journey late Thursday afternoon. We took 17 North from the airport then 179 North to Sedona, AZ.   There are beautiful red rock landscapes and shopping outlets along 179. The scenic beauty of Sedona just took my breath away.  The view was spectacular.

In the evening, we attended a flute presentation by Wolfs Robe at Los Abrigados Resort and Spa. He is a Native American Flute Maker/Player. He played with different kinds of flute: Finger Flute, Ancestor Pueblo Flute, Grandfather Flute and etc. He said that every performance is unique and is a gift to the listener. He doesn't know how to read music notes yet he played beautifully and mystically too.

Day 2:

View from Mather Point

We continued our journey on 89A North then 180 West. Along this scenic route, we stopped at Midgley Bridge, Slide Rock State Park and Native American Craft Market in Oak Creek Canyon.  Then we  continued on 64 North to the South Entrance of Grand Canyon. We took in our first canyon view at Mather Point, a short walking distance from Grand Canyon Visitor Center. The pastel-streaked skies and the hazy silhouette of the canyon is just magnificent.

The goal was to soak in the vistas along the Desert View Drive, a 25-mile east bound drive. Either we were totally immersed in our conversation or the signage is non-existant until Moran Point. We came to realized that we have missed 4 recommended viewpoints and then decided to go to Watchtower next, turned back to Moran Point then end the day at Lipan Point as it is a magnificent spot to watch the sunset. It is free to climb the Desert View Watchtower so check out the 360° east view of the canyon and Colorado River.

View from Lipan Point shortly before sunset

Day 3:
Our first stop was Yavapai Point. There we popped into the Yavapai Geology Museum and Observation Station then headed on to the second scenic route Hermit Road Drive on the west end of South Rim.  Our timing was impeccable as we were there when Hermit Road Drive is accessible to private vehicles which is from December to February. This time, we stopped at almost every overlook/vista and feast our eyes with the exceptional views along this drive. My favorite was Mohave Point because the Mohave Desert seemed to be visible from a distance on the west side.

In the afternoon, we left Grand Canyon and headed south via 64 South then the scenic route 180 east. Since we are facing San Francisco Peaks as we headed east, in my opinion, the view was much prettier when I compared to the journey heading west. I had the intention to hike inside River Lava Cave which is 10 miles north of Flagstaff however the route FR245 was closed to traffic. It is a pity, I did not get to experience hiking in a lava cave. We stayed in Flagstaff and had dinner at Alpine Pizza which is a local joint for the NAU students.

Day 4:
We went back to Sedona, the scenic red rock beauty and the spiritual town. We promenaded along Sedona Uptown,  took an old-time portrait at "Pistols & Petticoats" then hiked Bell Rock Pathway.
I got to see these famous monuments: Bell Rock, Cathedral Rock and Courthouse Rock from different angles and at the end of the day, I am thrilled that I could easily distinguished them.

I am glad to experience a little piece of Grand Canyon and learn a little bit about Arizona.
I feel positive and calm. Perhaps the vortex energy in Sedona has energized me. Thank you!

Happy Amateur Baking!

I brought a banana home from work which I took on Tuesday and did not have to chance to eat it. I know myself that if I don't make something with it, it will end up in the trash.  Voila, I made walnut banana chocolate cake. My roommate loved it and I told him to have as many pieces as he wants as I derived more joy from making than from eating.

Like eating seasonal vegetable, I have a seasonal dessert list:— cranberry pistachio biscotti, orange chiffon cake and crème brûlée in winter, blueberry buttermilk cake in spring, mango soufflé in summer, tiramisu and chocolate pear pudding in autumn. I learn new recipes though many do not make it to my repertoire.  I can't possible consume these dessert all on my own so I bring them to work. Over time , I have developed quite a reputation as a baker to my friends at work and little do they know that they are the best support system for me to continue my interest in dessert making.

To take different ingredients and turn them into something delicious—that's the end results we all hope for. I enjoy the creation process more than the end results. My faithful sous chef, the KitchenAid stand mixer is my partner in crime in baking. While my sous chef is busy beating butter and sugar or sugar and egg yolks, I will check in from time to time to make sure that the mixture becomes pale yellow, thick and fluffy.  My sous chef also does a great job in beating egg whites until it is firm peak. The onerous is on me to tell it to stop.  I had over beaten egg whites before and learnt never to do that again.  When folding beaten egg whites into chocolate mixture and see it slowly transformed into chocolate soufflé , the experience is priceless.

I have made many mistakes while testing out recipes and will share some here. When making Crème Anglaise, I had poured hot whipping cream into egg yolks and the egg yolks curdled. From then on, I will always remember that egg curdled at approx. 170º and to check the temperature of the hot cream before combining with egg yolks. When making cupcakes, never over beat the batter unless you want rock solid cupcakes which are perfect replacement for base balls . In winter, when melting chocolate chips in the microwave, do it right before adding to the batter otherwise the melted chocolate will cool off and there will be chunks of chocolate in the cake. These mistakes enriched my experience and served as a reminder to self as I try out new recipes.

I am a Chinese Malaysian and Chinese New Year(CNY) is a big event for my family. Since I moved to the States, it has become less significant to me. I do not practice the traditions here:  reunion dinner on the eve,  can't use a broom on CNY otherwise I will chase away good luck and prosperity (hmm..come to think about it, I do not have a broom in the house), receiving red packets, exchanging mandarin oranges and etc. Instead, I do two things to remind me of my chinese roots— I call my family and friends in Scotland, Hong Kong, Singapore and Malaysia on their eve evening and I make pineapple tarts to reign in the new lunar year.

I have almost forgotten about the pineapple tarts until late yesterday evening. Despite, there were a lot of CNY cookies on display at the Vietnamese Supermarket yesterday, it only donned to me much later of the day or after making the walnut banana chocolate cake that I have not even started with the tarts. Since I make everything from scratch, I typically make the pineapple jam weeks in advance. It has a special meaning to me to make the pineapple tarts before the actual CNY on 10th Feb. Now, I have to put a rush on the jam in order to keep doing the few things I do to remind me of my chinese roots.

To all amateur bakers, happy baking!

Today is Super Bowl, Go Niners!

Just hang in there a little longer

I learned from LR the difference between an introvert and a loner. An introvert is at ease among close knit friends whereas a loner prefers being alone. I spend quality time bonding with LR where she shared her insecurity in her relationship with a loner type of guy. We went for a long walk on Ocean Beach, watch the sunset then went for dinner in Japan Town.

LR is one of my most gregarious buddies. Everyone loves to talk to her. She organizes gatherings so that all her friends get to keep in touch regularly. I enjoy dining with her and she is one of my few friends who loves to pig-out. We don't have a care in the world when we eat. Waistline and calories do not exist in our gastronomy literature. 

She has a positive disposition in life. A few years back, I got a call from her where she had informed me that she had a brain tumor and had scheduled for surgery in a few days. She just wanted me to know that she was out of reach for 2 weeks. I worried for her while her main focus was to ensure that she called up her friends so that we knew that she was out of reach temporary. Our call was short because she had a list of friends to call.  Instead of being consume with the surgery, she was on a mission or perhaps it was her distraction to the issue at hand. My point is only a positive forward thinking person would do what she did.

She met someone through internet dating after she had recovered from her surgery. I have seen JG a few occasions during LR's gatherings at a local irish pub. Though I hardly talked to him nor took the time to get to know him better, I had the impression that he is a good person for LR. When a couple is in love, there is something special in the air— the loving gaze, stealing kisses and the natural intimacy between two people. Sadly, I saw none of that. I saw a cordial friendship between a man and a woman. Perhaps, they have mastered the art of delayed gratification which is the essence of their relationship.

They had broken up in March last year and the reason given by JG was that they were not compatible. Yet, JG had introduced LR to his family during Thanksgiving and they had spent new year eve together.  LR shared that JG is a loner. His actions were conflicting and non-committal. All LR is asking for is acknowledgement from him and the very least to know where she stands in their relationship. 

Like any normal female, LR sought out her girlfriends for support, comfort and validation. One friend told her to give JG an ultimatum because this method worked for her friend. LR knows that this is not the way to get her man to commit. Since he is a loner,  she runs the risk of losing him prematurely. Another friend advised her to stay close to him and don't let another woman come into the picture. This is what her friend employed to ensure her husband is hers only.  LR's insecurity had triggered her need to inspect him therefore she had secretly checked his call history and scoured his home for any trace of another woman. She is somewhat relieved that she found no suspicious calls or female items in his home.

I knew from speaking to her that she was leaning towards working things out with JG. She was looking for support to continue her quest. She had compared guys that she had met after JG and none exceeded her expectation.  She knows best what she needs. I gave her my support to hang in this limbo relationship because that is what she wanted. I pray she does not confuse his kindness and empathy as love. She is an intelligent lady and she needs to recognized that when it is time to call it quits she has the courage to make the tough call.  

I am no expert in relationship and all I can do for her is be a good listener. Follow your heart, my dear friend. What don't break you makes you stronger, LR! 

Enjoy motherhood, my friend!

Baby K's mummy hung up her Jimmy Choo or Christian Louboutin and opted for Nike or whatever walking shoes that are popular in Scotland instead. Seriously, Baby K's mummy had put her career on hold and decided to concentrate all her energy and attention on Baby K.  Baby K is so adorable, energetic and a very precocious baby. I can understand why it is difficult to leave Baby K with someone else while my dear friend has a career.   

This is the right decision and a tough one. 

This is right because she followed her heart. Having made up her mind, she does not have to make a choice between her job and being a mum. She does not need to feel guilty when she is compelled to choose her job over her child.  She does not need to adjust her schedule so she can make work and baby pickup times work and perhaps avoid traffic during peak hours too.  

She is guaranteed to witness almost all of Baby K's transformation during her formative years. She will be around for the many first — the first "I love you, mummy",  the first alphabet, the first number and many first phrases and imitations on mummy and daddy.  Both of them will make a lot of memorable moments such as baking cookies and making arts and crafts. 

I know it is important for  her that Baby K knows her relatives and cousins in Singapore and Malaysia. My dear friend is in a better position to make this a reality. She can plan for trips back to Asia and her only consideration is to workaround school holiday schedules.  

It is a tough because career is an important part of her life and mine too. I cannot imagine myself making a decision to stay home for a child. To me, it is like loosing a piece of myself and my identify because my job defines me.I guess motherhood trumps everything else in life. I want to remind her that she made the right decision. She can always build a career later. She plays many roles in life — a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law and etc... It is ok to put her job role on hold. When she is ready, she will find a beautiful pair of Jimmy Choo or Christian Louboutin to welcome her back to the workforce. Enjoy motherhood and make the best of it!

My Resolution For 2013

My instinct tells me that this will be a better year than the last.  I used to make resolutions which consist of things to accomplish in the upcoming year. I will do it a little differently for 2013. I want to focus on the outcome instead of trying to convince myself to transform my wish list aka as resolution into reality. If I don't get to it even if I were to include it as part of my resolution, I will never get to it.  Hence, this little tweak.

This is my wanna be list. 

I want to be a moderately health conscious chick. I am not talking about watching my weight nor my calories. Neither am I going to increase my workout frequency or routine. I want to be able to check off my list that I got to all my regular check ups. I have skipped my Pap smear screening last year. My OB/GYN has opted for early retirement which coincided with Obama Health Care Plan and she plans to volunteer for Doctors Without Borders. The onerous is on me to find a new OB/GYN. As for the other check-ups, I used to be a delinquent and I will fix it this year.I also need to make an appoint to pamper myself every quarter to a massage from my wonderful massage therapist. As for my workouts, practice awareness and hopefully I will sustain less injury this year. Just maybe, I will be vegetarian once a week for fun.

I want to be proficient in public speaking and to find that voice in me.  I know you are there, my public speaking voice and I will find you in due time. I came across an article about voice overhaul in a magazine at the hair salon. It stated that beauty is transient and voice transcends time. That's so true. What resonated with me most is that all preparation without using one's true voice is somehow incomplete. I recognized that this quest is more a journey and not an event. I will seek out opportunities and get better by doing more public speaking.  Somehow this jogged my memory about The 10,000 Hour Rule by Malcolm Gladwell in Outlier. Gosh,  I have a long way to go and I don't think I have even clocked 500 hours at this point. I will raise my game on this one for sure.

I want to deepen and broaden my network of female colleagues. I work in hi-tech where I interact more with male than female colleagues. This is a way of life at work. I am blessed with many very experienced female colleagues around me whom I have a lot of respect and admiration for the things they do. Yet I am so blind about the fact that I have the best support system and mentors around me. I look forward to bond with my female colleagues in 2013.

I will revisit this posting from time to time as this serves a reminder to myself.

Happy 2013, this is starting to be an exciting year for me and hopefully for you too!